The One I Waited For
by Lady Callista
Summary: They've been friends and nakama for most of their lives, and they never questioned it. But what will happen once something prompts Renji to show that he wants to be more? Series: After the Winter War. Pairing: Renji & Rukia
1. Opening the Door

Disclaimer: Kubo is god, Kubo is king, Tite Kubo owns everything. I'm just playing with them for awhile. I also do not own any of the quotes I use at the start of each chapter. They were all found on the internet, and if they have an author I say who it is.

Author's Notes: And we have a winner in the what story do you want next poll. This is Renji and Rukia's story in the "After The Winter War" series. I think this is only gonna be a four-shot, but I'm not sure yet. Sorry for people who have been waiting for a long R&R story, but it's just too easy to get them together. You may recognize parts of this chapter from NWM, but it was a good starting point, and I like telling scenes from different perspectives. Although this is a bit more than I normally do, it just fit so well.

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><p><span>The One I Waited F<span>or

By Lady Callista

Chapter 1: Opening the Door

_OoOoOoOoOoO_

"_You could be the one I waited for, you could be the one that opens up the door. You could be the one I run to. You could be the one."_

_-from "You Could Be The One" by Brian McKnight_

_OoOoOoOoOoO_

"So Hisagi isn't coming?" Shunsui asked as he filled the glasses of his two companions.

"No, he's working on the next issue of Seireitei Monthly." Izuru replied as he returned the favor and poured sake for the taicho. "Despite the war and all, Yamamoto was not pleased that publication did not happen last month."

"Man, that guy has his priorities screwed." Renji laughed as he drank. "What about Ikkaku?"

"He won't be coming either, I think he's still hung over from the party the Juuichibantai had last night." Shunsui replied with a smirk.

"I thought their party was two nights ago." Izuru said in confusion.

Shunsui chuckled at that. "That's when it _started_."

"Rangiku, you're late!" Renji called out as the voluptuous strawberry blond walked in and sat down next to him, immediately pouring herself some sake.

"Just had to take care of a few things," She replied, downing the sake with a sigh.

"The child prodigy making you work too hard again?" Shunsui asked as he reached across the table to refill his glass, cursing when the sleeve of his pink kimono almost knocked one of the bottles over.

Rangiku laughed, "Nah, he's almost given up on even trying anymore," She said in a careless voice. "It's not like he's got anything else to do with his time anyway."

Izuru groaned at that, downing his glass and pouring another. "Wish I had someone who would do all my paperwork for me. We really need to work on replacing the three taicho that…"

Renji reached over and smacked him on the arm. "No talking about work and traitors tonight. I'm sick to death of everyone talking about the war and it's aftermath. I just wanna forget about it for one night and have fun." He finished his sake and poured more with a flourish.

"That's hard when most of our normal Friday night drinking group are still having wounds tended," Rangiku replied, looking at the three men she sat with.

"Only a few of them," Shunsui replied with a grin. "Most are just still hung-over from the past days of non-stop parties."

Rangiku and Renji both laughed, while Izuru sighed. "This is the first time I've gotten out since the war ended. Even though I've been running the Sanbantai for a while now…"

Renji hit him again. "No talking about work." The last thing he wanted to think about now was work. He almost missed the war, at least there had been a lot more to do.

"You're the one who dragged me out tonight! So tell me then, what do you want to talk about?" Izuru shot back. "Half of what we always do when we're drinking is complain about work, and the other half is usually telling stupid stories. And I don't think I'm drunk enough yet to find a stupid story funny."

Rangiku laughed. "What if we play a game that'll help us get drunk faster? When I was in the human world I saw a movie where they played this game…"

OoOo _About an hour later _oOoO

"Never have I ever kissed a guy." Renji smirked, his gaze locked on a very drunk Rangiku, almost certain she would be the only one to drink. He was correct.

"Never have I ever actually wanted to be a taicho," Shunsui said with a grin as he signaled the waitress to bring more bottles of sake to the table that was already overflowing with empty ones.

Rangiku and Izuru laughed in agreement even as Renji sighed and took a drink of sake. He didn't understand how anyone could _not_ want to be a taicho.

"Never eve…never have I ever kissed a girl." Rangiku tripped over the phrase before getting it out. They were all as drunk as she was, and she wanted to get them drunker by picking something that would force them all to drink.

Renji thought for the first time since the game had started about lying, and wished like hell he had when Rangiku burst out laughing. It took him a moment to realize Izuru hadn't taken a drink either.

"Seriously?" Shunsui said as he turned to the two other men.

"I've only ever liked one girl, and she's always been in love with someone else," Izuru replied with a sigh, looking anywhere but at them.

"Whereas I don't think the one I like has ever been in love with anyone," Renji replied caustically, violet eyes flashing through his mind. "Although sometimes I think…"

"Who ever said anything about love?" Shunsui asked with a laugh. "Kissing is fun."

"But it's gotta be better if you love someone, right?" Rangiku replied as she refilled everyone's glasses.

"What about you, Ran-chan?" Renji asked as he heard the wistfulness in her voice. "Who's the guy you love that you can't have?" Anything to keep them talking, to keep them from asking for a name. They were his friends, but he had kept this to himself for too long to even dream of telling anyone.

"No one," Rangiku replied with a laugh, "As if any guy would say no to me if I asked."

The guys laughed with her, then went quiet as her voice turned more thoughtful. "I guess it's just something I was thinking about when I was in the real world. I mean, how long have each of you been in love with the women you love without telling them? Cause we know we'll have forever. Baring wars like the one we just went through, there's not much that can kill us. So we can just put everything off till tomorrow, or the next day, or the next. We don't have to give up on our dreams cause we can always tell ourselves that we have plenty of time to obtain them."

Izuru looked at her thoughtfully. "You're really drunk if you're getting this sentimental and introspective."

Rangiku flipped him off. "It's just something I was thinking about when I was watching the humans. It wasn't like we had much else to do down there."

"I know what you mean," Renji surprised himself, and everyone else, by speaking up. "If I knew she or I could die at anytime, I might have told her. If I knew we'd age, and only have 60 or 70 years to live, I'd want to spend that time with her. As it is, I've been in love with her for over 50 years, but I keep putting off telling her." The words were out of his mouth before he could call them back. Damn sake.

"I keep thinking that she's my friend, and someone I have to work with," Izuru joined the pity party. "Living forever also means that if you mess things up, you have to live with it forever. I know I'm a coward, but I'd rather have her friendship for decades than risk telling her, because if she doesn't feel the same way about me I may lose that friendship."

"Wow, you three got depressing fast," Shunsui drawled as he had more sake. Ah, the sentimental, sit-and-moan-about-my-life stage of drunkenness.

"Humans just have such a vitality to them, Shunsui, this energy I can't define, " Rangiku said as she offered her glass for him to refill. "Not like we do obviously, not reiatsu, but there's just something about them. They know their time is limited, so they reach for their goals. They work so hard for what they want. In many ways, they just amaze me."

Renji laughed then, thinking before he spoke. Anything was better than moaning about a girl he'd loved for over 50 years and never grown the balls to tell. "Did you go and fall in love with a human, Ran?"

Rangiku forced a laugh. "Of course not. But would it be so bad?"

"Well, other than the fact that you'd be kicked out of the Gotei Juusantai you mean."

"It might be worth it for the right person." Rangiku replied.

Renji laughed. "You did, you fell in love with a human!" It was something he'd never expected from her. He'd actually always figured she would go for her taicho.

"Well, you know, he was just so hot…"

Renji listened to her telling of a wonderful human she'd met with half an ear, his sake-slowed mind still processing what she'd said earlier.

If he knew their time would be limited, would he have told her by now? He'd broken so many rules to help her when she'd been scheduled to be executed, from helping Ichigo find her to drawing his sword on his own taicho. On a man he respected more than anyone else in his life. On the brother of the woman he loved, the man who should have protected her.

He could still remember what it felt like to carry her in his arms, her small body warm against his chest. He'd come closer to kissing her that day than he ever had before.

"Rukia-chan!"

Renji stumbled out of his thoughts as Shunsui called her name, and his eyes flew to the door as Rukia sauntered in, her slightly flushed cheeks showing that she'd already been drinking tonight. "Figured I'd find you guys here. I didn't want to call it a night yet."

Renji watched her as she came over to sit beside him, and he poured her a glass of sake as he commented, "You don't usually join us."

"I can't normally keep up with you." Rukia replied, drinking and holding her glass out for more. "But I think you guys have enough of a head start…" She trailed off as Izuru's head collapsed onto the table. "Maybe too much of one."

Rangiku laughed, and there was too much knowledge in her eyes for Renji's comfort as she smirked at him before standing, tapping Shunsui on the shoulder. "We should get the acting-taicho home."

Shunsui gave an exaggerated sigh as he hauled himself, and then Izuru, to his feet. Rangiku came up on Izuru's other side, slinging one of his arms around her shoulder as Shunsui did the same. "I may be back, but I think I'm pretty much done for the night."

"And I think my fair fukutaicho will kill me if I sleep away yet another day." Shunsui added.

"Later, guys." Renji called out, inwardly cursing Rangiku. She had to know. And if she knew…

"Do you want to leave too?" Rukia asked, glancing at the empty bottles littering the table. "You guys must have started earlier than usual, I should have gotten here sooner."

"Ah, we were just playing a drinking game Ran-chan told us about." Renji replied as he debating ordering yet more sake, grateful that she hadn't been there earlier. He didn't think his mouth would have run off on him if she'd been there, but he couldn't be certain.

"Sounds fun." Rukia sighed. "We haven't been able to have enough fun lately."

"Hey, what's a year or so of war in the hundreds we have to live?" Renji said carelessly.

"We always think we have forever." Rukia whispered as she drank more sake. "But so many of us came so close to dying…"

Renji slung his arm around her shoulder, hoping it seemed casual enough, as he replied, "But we didn't, and that's what counts."

Rukia leaned her head into his shoulder for a moment, taking comfort in him as she always did. It was impossible to be melancholy with Renji around. It was one of the things she'd always loved about him.

That thought brought the panic it always did, and she leaned forward to pour the last of the sake on the table into their glasses. "To being alive."

Renji grinned at her, and they tapped their glasses together before drinking.

OoOoOoOoOoO

Nearly an hour later, Renji carried Rukia out of the bar in his arms, her body a comforting weight against his strong chest. The sake had caught up to her all at once, and although she was still conscious she seemed to be unable or unwilling to move. But she had cuddled right into him when he picked her up, murmuring his name in a soft, husky voice that nearly caused him to drop her.

When she had voiced her displeasure over her near-fall, he had hushed her by laying his fingers over her lips, feeling their velvety texture for a moment before whispering, "I won't let you go. Like I'd ever let you go, you idiot." Hr prayed she wouldn't remember this in the morning, for he was unable to stop himself from leaning down and brushing his lips ever so lightly over her forehead.

The words filtered into Rukia's hazy brain, and caused her to flash back to the last time he had said those exact words to her.

Ichigo had just saved her from being executed, and had tossed her town to Renji, who had taken off with her at a run.

She remembered how tiny she had felt, cradled against Renji's chest by just one of his arms. She remembered hearing him say that he would defend her until he died. And she remembered her horror when she had thought he was actually going to die.

It was the instant she had known with crystal-clarity that she loved him.

"Renji?" She asked softly, shifting her head on his chest until her ear rested over his heart.

"Oi?"

"Who would you say your best friend is, besides me?" She tried to find a way to tactfully lead the conversation in the direction she wanted it to go.

"What makes you think you're still my best friend, midget?" Renji chucked softly at her indignant huff, then answered seriously, "That's easy; Ichigo."

"But you've known him for such a short time compared to all your other friends, and…"

"Do you remember the last time I told you that I wouldn't put you down?" Renji interrupted her softly.

"You were willing to die for me." Rukia said just as softly, "I never asked you why."

A sound came out of Renji that was halfway between a laugh and moan, and caused Rukia to expend the energy to tilt her head up to try and look at him. All three of him.

"You shouldn't have to ask." Renji finally managed to say, although it was said with the softest whisper so that Rukia barely heard him.

"Renji?"

"Ichigo told me it was my job to get you to safety. It was my job to keep you alive." Renji said with an odd look on his face. "I knew who he faced, and I knew he might face others even if he managed to defeat your brother. I didn't know if he could win or not. But every minute, every second, he bought us, meant that there was a better chance, however slight, that you would survive. I didn't know Ichigo that well; but we had one thing in common. Each of us would have given out lives for you. If there is a faster way to build a friendship I don't know it."

Rukia was struck speechless for a moment, both at the words that were so unlike him and by the look in his eyes. When she finally found her voice her words came out in a tumble, "I know why Ichigo risked it, but…"

Renji again laid his fingers over her lips to quiet her even as he stopped in front of the door to her room in the barracks. "Let's get inside."

Rukia unlocked her door on the second try, and Renji carried her through the dark room to lay her on her futon. "Renji." Even as she tried to focus on him, she felt her traitorous eyes sliding shut. She had been up much earlier than normal this morning for a training session, and she had drunk way more sake than she normally did. But she wanted to hear his answer so much!

"I sure hope you don't remember this in the morning." Renji mumbled quietly as her eyes slid shut and her breathing deepened. When he thought she was asleep, he leaned in and kissed her lightly on the cheek before whispering in her ear, "Because I love you, you idiot."

Renji turned around and slid quietly from her room.

Rukia turned over in her sleep as the door closed, her dreams mirroring reality as she mumbled the same words in return.

When she awoke the next morning, she hadn't forgotten what she had heard him say, but she did think she had dreamed it.

After all, there was no way he was in love with her. He would have told her long before now.

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><p>TBC…<p>

AN2: So Renji's probably a little bit OOC in the last half, but he's been drinking and having serious conversations about love and life. Plus I decided they were totally the easiest couple to get together, and couldn't really find a good way to make this a long, drawn out story. Especially since in Behind this Mask I established just how quickly after the War RenRuk got together. Also, I'm moving in about two weeks, so I don't know if I'll get another chapter out for at least that long, cause with packing and everything I may not have time to write. But I'll try my best. Reviews are greatly appreciated, and although I will never hold out on posting a chapter because I want more reviews, I will admit that often times they make me write faster.

Glossary:

Seireitei: Court of Pure Souls

Juuichibantai: 11th Division, Kenpachi is taicho

Taicho: Commander, literally Division/Squad Leader, the dub uses Captain

Sanbantai: 3rd Division, Kira Izuru is the acting taicho (used to be Ichimaru)

Gotei Juusantai: 13 Imperial Court Divisions, dub uses 13 Court Guard Squads I believe

Fukutaicho: Vice-Commander, dub uses Vice-Captain or Lieutenant


	2. In Your Arms

Disclaimer: Kubo is god, Kubo is king, Tite Kubo owns everything. I'm just playing with them for awhile. I also do not own any of the quotes I use at the start of each chapter. They were all found on the internet, and if they have an author I say who it is.

Author's Notes: Thanks so much to those who reviewed and enjoyed the first chapter. Oh, and for anyone who liked ShuNan and is waiting for their story, there's a cute little bit in here with her. And anyone who remembers which of my stories previously mentioned Netsui tea gets a shiny gold star.

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><p><span>The One I Waited For<span>

By Lady Callista

Chapter 2: In Your Arms

_OoOoOoOoOoO_

_"But I'll take your feelings into consideration. She can stay in your arms, but the rest of you goes." _

_-Aizen Sosuke_

_OoOoOoOoOoO_

Try as she might, Rukia just couldn't get the dream out of her head. She thought about Renji's arms around her as she sat at her desk in the morning sunlight, trying to get some paperwork done. An anti-hangover pill Kyoraku had gotten Unohana-taicho to create decades ago had cured her rolling stomach and splitting head, but she still felt foggy and was having trouble concentrating on the papers.

Trying to tell herself that it wasn't because she was thinking of Renji, Rukia signed one paper and reached for the next one, putting him firmly out of her mind.

She still thought about him later though, while she was eating lunch. She remembered running through Rukongai with him, their hands clasped so that they wouldn't get separated, each of them with food they had swiped from somewhere tucked under their arms. She had always gotten a thrill out of holding his hand, even for something where it was necessary, that she had never gotten when anyone else touched her.

And she remembered the day they had left Rukongai to become Shinigami, and how for the briefest instant she had seen a look in his eyes she thought meant he was going to kiss her. To this day, she knew he hadn't seen the answering spark in her own dark eyes.

Later yet, he popped into her thoughts as she practiced with her division, and she took several hits before she could force him from her mind. Even then, memories of training with him decades ago continued to enter her thoughts, especially as she could feel his reiatsu pulsing from a training field not far away. She found herself irrationally jealous of Rangiku, whom she knew was training with him. She remembered the heat in his eyes he always had when he fought, and how his skin would glisten with sweat.

And as she took another particularly hard hit that she should have been able to block easily, she tried once again to put him out of her mind.

Nearly 14 hours after she had awoken, his whispered words of love from her dream still echoing in her mind, she sat at a table with Yoruichi and Rangiku They were drinking sake, and speaking of nothing important. At least Rukia didn't think it was anything important, although that could have been because she was only half listening, her mind still on a certain red-head.

"Rukia-chan, are you listening?"

Rukia suddenly looked up, tearing herself away from her thoughts to find both of her friends staring at her. "Sorry, I was, uh… just thinking."

"You had the look on your face that a woman gets when she's thinking of a man." Yoruichi said with a chuckle. It was her last night in Seireitei before she was returning to Earth, partly because she missed Kisuke and everyone else, and partly because she was tired of dodging Yamamoto-soutaicho and his attempts to get her to be a taicho again. Although she would miss hanging out with the girls who had become her friends after all they'd been through together.

Rukia blushed, and Rangiku started to laugh as well. "Do we need to guess who it is?"

"You could come back down to Earth with me." Yoruichi suggested as she lifted her glass in a toast. "I bet Ichigo would love to see you too."

Rukia turned even redder for a second, although she started to sputter even as she blushed, "No, that's not… I mean… He's not…"

Rangiku's face turned thoughtful even as she stopped laughing, yet Yoruichi continued to grin. "Oh, come on. You were practically living in his bedroom when you first met him, and then he risked his life to save you, and…"

"He's one of my best friends, but it's not…" Rukia finally managed to stop blushing, although she wondered for the first time just how many of the other Shinigami assumed the same thing. Then she gave Rangiku a sharp look. "Besides, Inoue is my friend too, and…"

Rangiku held up both her hands in surrender, although her smirk grew larger. "Well if it's not him, then…"

Rukia was saved from whatever she was about to say by Nanao's sudden appearance. The normally serious fukutaicho looked slightly frazzled, and Rukia felt her eyes widen in shock when Nanao reached in front of Rangiku and unceremoniously picked up the woman's glass and downed it in one gulp.

"What did Shunsui do now?" Rangiku's attention immediately flicked to her friend.

Nanao sighed and tossed a bag of brownish tea leaves unto the table. "He got them from 'some guy in First District who said they made the best tea ever.'"

Rukia chuckled at Nanao's imitation of Kyoraku Shunsui's lazy, drunken drawl, and had to ask, "You didn't like the taste?"

"I didn't let him taste it." Nanao huffed as she twitched her hand back and forth in front of herself. The fact that she didn't have her fan in her hand to swish along with the habitual motion made it look slightly odd.

Rangiku reached over to still her friend's twitching hand, even as she reached out to a sake bottle on the table with her other hand, and without even looking perfectly filled a glass and pressed it into her best friend's hands. "It's probably fine."

"But what if it ended up being like…" Nanao trailed off with a delicate shutter even as she took a sip of the drink now in her hand, and dropped her eyes when both Yoruichi and Rukia looked at her curiously.

"Shunsui got a bottle of sake from 'a man in Rukongai' a decade or so ago, and it had some kind of spell on it or something." Rangiku told the story with a smirk. "He ended up following Nanao-chan around like he was a love-sick puppy for almost a day. The story was told that it had been one of those 'fall in love with the first person you see' things, but him and I actually drank it together. Nothing changed in how we felt about each other. But he followed Nanao around for a day, and I went to… well…"

All three women heard what she didn't say.

She had gone to Ichimaru Gin. To the only man she had ever loved. The man who had betrayed both her and everything she believed in.

All three of the women had held her while she cried over him.

Rukia broke the uneasy silence. "Why wouldn't you want him in love with you? I know how you feel about him…"

Nanao shook her head. "Not because of a spell. Not because of…" Nanao polished off another shot of sake as all three women nodded in understanding. "If he can't say the words to me on his own without any… help… I won't trust that it's real. I… I can't. I've been waiting for so long…"

Rangiku gave her friend a one-armed hug before she reached out and grabbed the bag of tea leaves from the table. "I can understand that. But I still think you should just tell him how you feel."

"He's an idiot if he doesn't know." Yoruichi huffed. "Although most men are idiots. Can't see what's right in front of their…"

Rangiku suddenly let out a laugh, and the other three looked over at her to find her sniffing the bag of tea leaves. "I don't think Shunsui is an idiot. And he definitely knows what this is, because he's the one who made sure I knew what it was."

She passed the bag to Rukia, who sniffed it but only shrugged that she didn't know. It smelled similar to green tea, but there was something uniquely tangy about the scent that she had never smelled before and wouldn't soon forget. She passed it on to Yoruichi, who suddenly smirked and let out a purr that sounded rather odd in her current form.

"It's called Netsui tea." Rangiku smirked.

"Netsui?" Nanao choked out. "Desire?"

"It's not a love spell, not really." Yoruichi clarified. "It's really just an aphrodisiac. It won't make you do anything… or anyone… that you don't want to. But if you're already attracted to someone, well, it can be interesting."

"It's kinda like a liquid shot of courage." Rangiku piped in.

"I thought that was sake." Nanao said dryly enough that the other three chuckled.

"Hey… Rangiku-chan, what are you doing with that?" Rukia exclaimed even as the strawberry-blond tucked the bag of tea leaves into the top of her shihakusho.

"I know someone who might… benefit from it." Rangiku started chuckling again, and this time there was a slightly evil tint to her laugh. "Or should I say, two people?"

Rukia experienced a moment of panic, but relaxed and had another drink of sake as she saw Rangiku's eyes flick to Nanao. Of course she was thinking of her best friend and one of her oldest drinking buddies. There was no way she could have guessed who it was that Rukia liked. And she knew Rangiku well enough to know she was a good friend, and would never try to set anyone up unless she knew there were feelings on both sides.

And everyone knew Renji didn't have feelings for her. Up until he had helped Ichigo save her, they hadn't really been friends for nearly a decade. And although she once again counted him as her best friend, and knew he felt the same, she also knew that was all that he felt for her. And it was time she learned to be content with that.

_OoOoO The Next Night OoOoO_

It was just after sunset when Renji wearily let himself into his apartment. He stripped down as he walked towards the bathroom, letting the pieces of his shihakuso fall randomly on the ground as he moved through the dark rooms.

After a brutal training session, Rangiku seemed to have improved a great deal just in the few days they had been working together, Renji wanted nothing more than a hot shower, a warm cup of tea, and eight hours of uninterrupted sleep.

He had woken up twice during the previous night, both times so aroused from dreams that it had taken him a long time to get back to sleep. He hadn't dreamed about Rukia like this in almost a decade. With the exception of the night right after he and Ichigo had rescued her from execution.

His thoughts continued to circle around her as he showered away the aches of the day, and he abruptly flipped the temperature of the water over to cold as he imagined her small hands massaging away the knots in his shoulders and the way her lips might feel under his own.

The cold water, combined with an image of Ichigo holding her in his arms that suddenly popped into his head, succeeded in cooling his ardor, and with a sigh Renji turned off the shower and dried off, letting his hair trail in wet clumps down his back as he wandered into the kitchen.

Renji pulled out a small pan and filled it with water, setting it on the stove to heat even as he picked up a bag of tea from the floor near the stove. It must have fallen out of his gi when he dropped it on his way to the shower.

Rangiku had given it to him as he left their sparring practice, saying it was a thank-you present for his working with her. He found it slightly odd that she had given him anything, let alone a strangely scented green tea that she said was among the best tea she had ever had. But it just so happened that he had run out of tea that very morning, so her gift stopped him from having to stop at a store somewhere on the way home.

He had picked up the habit of a morning and evening cup of tea from Hisagi at some point during their academy days, and after the lack of sleep the night before he thought he might even go for two cups of tea just to make sure he slept like a baby.

Halfway through the first cup, Renji decided that he and Rangiku definitely had different tastes in tea, yet as he didn't have any other tea available he finished the cup, resigned himself to having to have it in the morning as well, and then resolved to bring it into the office with him the next day. Maybe his taicho would like it more than he did.

Still, the habitual cup of tea relaxed him as it always did, and Renji moved into his bedroom to put his futon out. Taking a quick minute to braid his still wet hair so it didn't get all tangled up overnight, but not bothering with a yukata, Renji collapsed on the bed and was asleep less than a minute after his head hit the pillow.

TBC…

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><p>AN2: I know it's a bit short, but it would have been way too long if I put in the next scene I'm planning on writing. And I don't really have the time to write that scene now anyway. These first two chapters have pretty much just been setting the scene anyway. Hope you all still enjoyed it. Next chapter is going to get citrusy.<p> 


	3. To Admit It

Disclaimer: Kubo is god, Kubo is king, Tite Kubo owns everything. I'm just playing with them for awhile. I also do not own any of the quotes I use at the start of each chapter. They were all found on the internet, and if they have an author I say who it is.

Author's Notes: Thanks so much to everyone who has reviewed; I've been having fun with finally getting to write RenRuk. Sorry to those waiting for the next chapter of "Ghost Within Your Eyes," but the one-shot "At Night" was enough angst that I had to write something happy. Oh, and don't let the start confuse you. No, you did not miss a chapter. No, I did not post the wrong chapter. Just give it a bit. So, now, the chapter everyone has been waiting for…

* * *

><p><span>The One I Waited For<span>

By Lady Callista

Chapter 3: To Admit It

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_"You're not friends. You'll never be friends. You'll be in love till it kills you both. You'll fight and you'll shag and you'll hate each other till it makes you quiver, but you'll never be friends. Love isn't brains children, it's blood-blood screaming inside you to work it's will. I may be love's bitch, but at least I'm man enough to admit it." Spike in Buffy the Vampire Slayer_

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"I'm gonna have a permanent crick in my neck."

Rukia giggled as his hands found her waist, easily lifting her up to sit on his kitchen counter. Her hands slid around his neck, pulling the tie from his hair and running her fingers through it. "You're too tall."

"Nah, you're just a midget." Renji chuckled as he moved to stand between her legs, his hands sliding down to her hips as he swallowed her rude comeback with a deep kiss.

"Renji…" Rukia moaned his name when they broke for air, resting her forehead on his shoulder as she gasped for breath.

His hands trailed up from her hips, one moving up her back to pull her closer while the other played with her short cap of hair. Her hands slid down from his neck, trailing over his naked chest, and when she purposely brushed his nipples it was his turn to moan even as he pulled her off the counter and into his arms.

Rukia gasped as he pulled her to him, her legs instinctively wrapping around his waist. As their cores brushed she could feel her breath hitch. "Ah, gods, Renji…"

They both groaned at the knock on the door.

"Oi… Renji…."

Knock. Knock. Knock.

"RENJI!"

The Rukia in his arms melted away, and with a gasp Renji awoke alone in his bed.

"RENJI!"

"What the…" Confused and disoriented, Renji brought both hands up to his face for a moment as he tried to resign himself to the fact that it had only been a dream. Yet _another_ dream about her. His Rukia… finally in his arms…

And then he realized there was actually someone at his door.

"Oi, hold your horses!" Renji called out, grabbing a yukata from the floor and pulling it on, trying to calm his body down as he recognized the voice on the other side of his front door. Matsumoto Rangiku would make way too many jokes if he answered the door with a hard-on.

He was calm enough once he opened the door that he didn't think she would notice, yet almost panicked when her first reaction was to start giggling.

"Sleeping late?" Rangiku laughed as she stood in the doorway, reaching out to try unsuccessfully to smooth down his bed-hair. Half of it was braided, but it was obvious he had been tossing and turning all night from the amount of hair that had fallen out of the braid and was currently a tangled mess.

Relaxing once he realized she was only laughing at his hair, Renji allowed himself a chuckle, hoping she wouldn't get suspicious. "Ah, I guess so. Do you mind if we just skip training today?"

Rangiku laughed again at his sleep-roughened voice. "Nah, that's fine. Go out drinking last night?"

He hadn't, but that was the best explanation, as everyone knew he never slept late. His traitorous mind flashed back to his dreams. "Uh, let's just say it was a fun night."

And it had been, until he had been woken up.

Rangiku grinned knowingly for a second as he glanced off to the side and adjusted his yukata self-consciously. She made sure her face was back to her normal happy mask before he turned back to her as she asked, "Tomorrow? Normal time?"

Renji nodded. "Sounds good."

She strolled away with a little wave, and Renji sighed in relief as he shut the door, heading straight into the kitchen for his morning cup of tea.

He stared wistfully at the counter next to the stove for a long moment, where in his dreams Rukia had just been. Then he sighed, told himself to get real, and started preparing both tea and breakfast.

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Rukia brushed some hair out of her eyes, mumbling to herself as she approached the juubantai practice field. She had been dreaming about Renji again, which had resulted in a very un-restful night. It had also left her really wanting to see him.

She had tried to tell herself she was just popping by to see how Rangiku's training with him was going; after all she knew her friend was training for bankai, and it would be supportive of her to watch. Maybe to offer advice, if she had any. Not that she really knew about bankai, having never tried to gain it herself, but she knew about training in general. Despite not even being a seated officer, she had a reputation among her division for having a really good eye, and a way with teaching. Other Shinigami were always asking her to train with them, or to help them perfect moves they were having difficulty with.

She had managed to tell herself, for about half of the walk to the practice field, that she was just going to watch the training. To help her friend.

Halfway there though, one of her dreams from the night before had flashed through her head, and she had realized lying to herself was not only pointless, but stupid and cowardly. She would never admit it to anyone else, but she was going to watch Renji fight.

Because he was magnificent when he fought.

She loved watching the joking and swaggering boy he still often acted like melt away when he faced a challenging opponent. There was a strength and passion in his eyes and face that he didn't have at other times, and the way his reiatsu would pulse and heat often took her breath away. One of her recurring dreams was, even for a minute, to have all that intensity and strength focused on her.

Lost in thoughts that created a warm feeling deep within her, she had actually stepped onto the practice field before it registered in her mind that Renji was not there.

Rangiku stood on the field alone, Haineko released in shikai as she practiced directing the ash with just her mind, instead of using the hilt like she normally did.

Taking a page out of Byakuya's book, Rukia mused as she stood watching for a moment, not wanting to disrupt her friend's concentration. Not using the hilt to direct the movements gave Rangiku as advantage, for it gave her opponent no warning of where attacks were coming from. But until she grew more powerful, and more used to controlling it, it was a lot slower.

"What do you think?" Rangiku called out suddenly.

"It's slower than when you use the hilt." Knowing her friend would respect an honest answer, Rukia said what she had been thinking. "But your opponent has no warning of what you're doing. At this point, it kinda balances out, so I would say it would depend on who you were fighting as to which way is better."

"Yeah, that's what Renji said yesterday." Rangiku confirmed as she called the ash back into katana form and sheathed the sword, using her pink scarf to wipe a bit of sweat from her brow. "Although controlling it with my mind takes more concentration, and sometimes it makes me miss other things, so I can only use it one-on-one."

Rukia nodded, and took the opening to ask, "Where is Renji? I thought I would find you two training."

"He didn't feel like training this morning." Rangiku replied as she walked towards Rukia, grabbing up a water bottle from the ground along the way and drinking deeply. "I don't think he was drinking last night, but he seemed really tired this morning. I hope he's not getting sick or something. I was going to go back and check on him when I was done training."

Not noticing the gleam in her friend's eyes, Rukia sighed. "I'll check on him. I wanted to see him anyway."

"Why?" Rangiku asked innocently, pretending not to notice when her friend's cheeks pinked slightly.

"Ah, not for anything in particular, I guess." Rukia hedged as she started to back away. "Just, ah… I'll see you around, okay?"

Rangiku chuckled to herself as her friend hurried away. And hoped that Renji had decided to have a cup or two of the tea she had given him this morning. Wishing she could be a fly on the wall when the two were alone in his apartment, Rangiku allowed herself another chuckle, and another deep drink of water, before she pulled her zanpakuto out of its sheath again. "Growl, Haineko."

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Moments later, Rukia knocked on the door to Renji's rooms in the barracks.

"Just a second."

Wiping suddenly damp palms on her hakama, Rukia shifted from one foot to the other as she waited for the door to open, trying to think of what she wanted to say. 'I've been having sexy dreams about you,' while the truth, was _not_ what she wanted coming out of her mouth.

It was nearly thirty seconds before the door opened, not that she was counting or anything, and when it did open the words she had come up with flew out of her head. She could do nothing but stare.

Renji wore nothing but a yukata, tied loosely enough that most of his chest was showing. Even as she stared, a few drops of water trailed down his chest, which drew her attention upwards to his long hair, still dripping wet from the shower he had obviously just finished, and looking shades darker than normal.

Rukia's hands fisted in her hakama before she could reach out to touch him.

"Rukia, what's up?"

His voice was casual and friendly, and she thanked all the gods that he hadn't seemed to notice her distraction. He motioned for her to come in, and she did so after a brief hesitation, glad of the distraction of having to bend down and remove her waraji.

"Oh, nothing much." Rukia tried to make her voice as casual as his was even as she tried to get the image of him out of her head. He had appeared almost exactly like this in one of her dreams, and the urge to slid her hands under the sides of the yukata, to run her hands over his smooth, hard chest, to… Rukia took a deep breath. "Rangiku mentioned you didn't seem to be feeling well this morning, so I just thought I'd stop by and check on you, but you, um… you look good, I mean, fine, uh, I…"

"Uhh, yeah, I just…" Renji cut her off as she began to babble, but then didn't know what to say himself. After removing her sandals, she had remained standing in the entryway, her gaze firmly fixed on the floor. "Had a slow morning I guess, I mean I just finished showering, and…"

Realizing abruptly why she wasn't looking at him, Renji tugged the yukata closed over his chest, tightening the knot and trying to brush his sopping wet hair out of his face. "Sorry, uh… I'm fine. Just didn't sleep well I guess."

Rukia risked glancing up at his face, both relieved and disappointed to find him more decently clothed. "I've been having problems with that myself."

"Well, you know what Ran-chan would say about that." Renji tried for a joking voice, yet his words came out slightly choked. The morning sunlight was filtering through the window beside the door, and when her face had caught in the light he had almost lost his entire train of thought. She wasn't a classic beauty, she never had been, but there was just something about her face, and the intensity in her eyes, that had always left him breathless if he let himself think about her too much.

"That we need to drink more at night?" Rukia tried for a light tone as well, hands still grasping her hakama. She tilted her head to the side, trying for a smile. She had to keep talking, to keep things light and friendly between them. Because she would only embarrass herself, and him, if she tried for anything more.

"Exactly." Renji forced a grin, reaching out a hand to ruffle her hair. It was an old gesture, stemming from when they were children and it had annoyed her, yet this time his hand lingered a few seconds longer, stroking down the side of her hair gently, as he had done so many times in his dreams yet never in real life.

Her eyes widened, and she whispered his name hesitantly, unable to look away from him. There was a heat in his eyes, just a shadow of it, but it was exactly the same look she had seen twice before. Once when they were about to leave Rukongai to become Shinigami, and she had sworn he was going to kiss her. And again when he had been saving her from execution, and sworn to her he would never put her down.

Renji took a deep breath, breaking eye contact as he ran a hand through his hair, trying to give himself time to think. It was always difficult to think when he was alone with her, but for some reason he was having a lot more trouble than he normally did. He blamed the dreams, and how much he wanted them to be reality. He had been aching for her for days now, although the previous night had been particularly bad. And this morning it was worse than it had ever been. His entire body was tensed, and it was through willpower alone that he hadn't touched her again. That he hadn't done more.

But he didn't want to ruin their friendship. Didn't want her to have to let him down gently, have to tell him they would only ever be friends, and that she was really in love with Ichi…

An image of the two of them wrapped up in each other's arms popped into his head, and Renji felt a curse slip through his lips before he could stop it. He also felt both anger and jealousy stirring deep within him, and something else that might have been pain.

"Renji, what's wrong?" Rukia stepped closer to him, reaching out to put a hand on his arm.

Renji saw her hand coming and jerked back, his anger flaring irrationally. "I'm fine, okay? I said I was fine, so just leave me alone, okay?" His voice was harsh, but he was afraid that if he wasn't angry with her, if he didn't push her away, he would do something even worse. Like kiss her.

Rukia's anger flashed to life in return. He had always had that effect on her. "What do you mean, leave you alone? Something's obviously wrong, you jerk, so just tell me, and…"

"Look, I said I didn't sleep well." Renji shot back, suddenly realizing that maybe starting a fight with her hadn't been the best idea. Her eyes always got so hot when they were arguing, and her entire body would start to vibrate, and…

"It's obviously more than that, and…"

"Look, midget…"

"Midget?" Rukia fumed at him, stomping up the one-step from his entryway into the main room to put herself within a few inches of his height. "Look, just tell me what's wrong, and…"

"Just go away; you need to get out of here, before…"

"Before what?" Anger surging through her, Rukia rose up onto her toes, hands coming to rest harshly on his shoulders. She glared at him from inches away. "What are you gonna do?"

Renji reached out, intending to grab her shoulders in return and shake her. But the instant he touched her, the instant his hands gripped her shoulders, that intention flew right out the window. So did every other rational thought in his head.

And with nothing but his heart speaking to him, Renji yanked her those last few inches and captured her lips with his own.

She trembled, and Renji felt the few remaining shreds of his control snap.

His hands slid off of her shoulders and down her back, pulling her body up flush against his own even as he deepened the kiss.

She tasted like spring water, like that first cold and clear sip after a long hot workout, when it was the most wonderful taste in the world. And she smelled like jasmine, a scent he knew she only wore when one of the Kuchiki maids sprayed her with it before she could evade.

Her body had tensed like a spring when he had first kissed her, but even as the kiss spun out he felt her go pliant in his arms. And feeling her tremble for the second time, Renji slid a hand up to cup her face, intending to gentle the kiss.

And jerked back, shock and shame flooding into him, as he felt a wetness on her cheeks that could be nothing but tears.

"I… Oh, gods, I'm sorry… I…" Renji released her at once, bracing one hand on the wall as he tried to regain his breath. As he berated himself for ruining their friendship.

"Renji…" Her voice was soft, and her breathing as harsh as his, but not even a hint of anger remained in her voice. "Why are you sorry?"

"You… you're crying. I feel like such an ass." Even now, Renji wanted to reach out to brush away the few tears that were still falling. But he didn't think his touch would be welcome. "I know you don't think of me that way, I… I mean, I know you love Ichigo, but…"

"WHAT?" Rukia's voice exploded out of her incredulously. "Why in the world would you think that I…"

"It's obvious when you're around him, I mean…"

"I love him, you're right, but… but not the way you mean. He's like a brother to me, Renji. Often times a younger, annoying brother, but…"

The shocked look in Renji's eyes, as well as the mix of both hope and obvious disbelief, caused Rukia to wipe at her cheeks in irritation even as she reached out to run her fingers lightly over the tattoos on his chest, something she had wanted to do for a very long time. "I've been in love with you since we were kids, you idiot."

Renji could only recall one other time in his life that he had been this shocked, and that was when a fifteen-year-old human had come blazing into Soul Society and beaten the shit out of him. "You… really?"

Rukia let out an exasperated huff. "No, I said it just to screw with your head."

Renji glared at her, knowing she was being sarcastic but unable to believe the truth of her previous statement. "Then why the hell did you cry when I kissed you?"

"Because I was afraid it was just another dream." Rukia whispered, vulnerability showing in her voice for a second before it became brasher again, "But you're never this annoying in my dreams."

Renji let out a sound halfway between a chuckle and a groan even as he reached out and brushed the tears from her cheek. "I sure hope this isn't a dream, because I love you too, midget."

And with that he drew her into his arms again, and this time his kiss was soft and gentle.

THE END

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><p>AN2: I can almost picture Rangiku peeking in the window, smirking, while singing "Matchmaker" and patting herself on the back. Sorry this part took a bit to come out, but I was trying to write it as a sweet, romantic confession, and it just never sounded right. And then I realized why as I was trying to pick a quote for the chapter and found the one from Buffy. Cause sweet and romantic is not how it would happen. At least I don't think so. I think it would be much more like what I wrote. Anyways, hope you enjoyed this part; reviews are greatly appreciated.<p> 


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